Overcoming Shame and Guilt in Recovery

This cycle can be challenging to get out of, which is why you need to have coping strategies on hand. When you’re struggling with substance abuse and addiction, you will do things you wouldn’t dream of doing sober, just to survive the day. After beginning the journey to recovery, it can be very common to start feeling guilty and ashamed of the things you did while in active addiction. It can be easy to dwell on these dark emotions and to feel overwhelmed by them, but sitting in them for too long is a good way to set yourself up for a relapse.

Letting go of the things in your past is a big step towards being free from addiction. While they may not be in a place to be able to forgive you immediately, you will have done your best to make amends and put your actions behind you. To break free from negative feelings that keep you stuck, avoid people who seem determined to make you pay for your misdeeds.

Breaking the Shame Cycle

A common coping method to deal with shame is substance abuse. I am too weak.” You can see how nicely shame feeds into addiction and vice versa. Shame is considered to be a “self-conscious https://ecosoberhouse.com/ emotion” by many mental health professionals. Being able to differentiate between guilt and shame is important because it can influence your behaviors and reactions.

• This has been attributed to Lao Tzu many times online, although the true origins are actually unknown.
• Both of these emotions are similar, in that they deal with remorse and inadequacies – the same feelings that often compel users to start taking drugs.
• When you’re guilty, you likely realize what you did was wrong.
• All I mean by that is that your son or daughter isn’t a sociopath.
• For example, maybe you feel guilty about saying unkind things to someone while you were intoxicated, or making a promise to do something and then not following through.
• The defendant will think about how much grief he caused the victim’s family, and the shame will become more intense.

It is easy to continue to feel guilt and shame over things you have done in the past, or things that have been done to you in the past. Recognize the past but stop letting it rule your life.

How to Overcome the Shame and Guilt of Addiction

It can make you feel like you’re a failure, unlovable or that you don’t deserve to be happy. It infiltrates your thoughts and makes you think you’re a bad person, or that you’re defective.

The Blackberry Center is a 64-bed behavioral hospital in St. Cloud, Florida. Nestled in a tranquil setting just outside of Orlando, our mental health facility provides guilt and shame in recovery patients with a safe place to reflect, reset and heal. From support groups to individual therapy treatment options, we are here to fight the battle with you.

How Long Do Drugs Stay In Your System?

For those who find it difficult to relate to people, dogs and other pets are tremendously good at unconditional love and might be a good place to start. Spending time with people who love us unconditionally, who may have dealt with similar experiences and can identify with us, is key in letting go of guilt and shame. Shame, guilt’s neighbor, is feeling like a bad person, particularly when poor choices or bad behavior is out in the open for everyone to see and judge. Resolving to change your ways, and then take the needed steps for that to happen is a key part of recovery. This shows others, and yourself, that you are serious about making amends and have learned from mistakes.

• The feeling that comes after these actions is what can be classified as guilt.
• Emotional wounds heal slowly, and it might take a while for a person to truly believe in their own self-worth again.
• I don’t know if I’ve ever had a client come in and say ever in 40 years say, Bob, I’m here to work with you on shame.
• Learn to live with your mistakes and the lessons they taught you.
• Guilt is when a person feels bad about something that was done.

As the saying goes, it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to what happens that makes the difference. This is true in many circumstances, including when you’re dealing with guilt and shame in addiction recovery. Dealing with the guilt and shame that often accompany substance addiction takes time. Emotional wounds heal slowly, and it might take a while for a person to truly believe in their own self-worth again. The love and support of other people can be invaluable during this difficult process. In order to work through the guilt and shame of addiction, it’s important for a person to understand how they are useful for the recovery process—and how they are not.

Pick up the Phone and Start Battling Your Shame Today

For example, you might start to notice that your most regrettable actions happened when you drank too much because you were under a great deal of stress at work. Once you understand your triggers, it’s easier to avoid making similar mistakes in the future. Guilt, shame, anger, fear, and other emotions are only as powerful as we allow them to be. Your ability to manage your feelings and let go of self-defeating emotions can help you in your recovery and in many other parts of your life. Many people may have been in situations where they were required to endure pain, demonstrate self-reliance, or prioritize others over themselves. However, in recovery, you may be asked to share your pain with others, seek assistance from your support network, and focus on yourself. If you attempt to dismiss, deflect, or hide from difficult emotions such as guilt and shame, you might undermine your ability to progress in recovery.

• I think there’s that there’s a psychoanalyst Christopher bolus that talks about shame.
• Their shame can also come from using drugs or alcohol, feeling they’ve failed rather than made a mistake.
• Know that you are worthy of forgiveness, and that you are also worthy of love.
• Being able to differentiate between guilt and shame is important because it can influence your behaviors and reactions.
• Everyone feels guilt from time to time, which can be a healthy emotion; it drives you to do better.